Guide

HOW TO USE THIS FIELD GUIDE

Will This Kill Me? is an AI-powered field guide for anything you can photograph — bugs, plants, snakes, mushrooms, or the mystery snack your toddler just found.

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Quick-start in 5 steps

  1. 1.Capture clearly. Snap or upload a well-lit photo of the bug, plant, snake, mushroom, or questionable snack.
  2. 2.Pick your tone. Choose Serious, Satire, or Both before you analyze. Safety Mode adds extra do-not warnings.
  3. 3.Add context. Use the voice note or text box to mention location, who touched it, or any symptoms.
  4. 4.Read the full report. Check the verdict, risks, first-aid steps, and hard "do not" flags before acting.
  5. 5.Know when to call a pro. If someone is hurt, sick, or unsure, call your local poison control or emergency number.

What it is

Snap a photo or upload one from your camera roll. The AI tries to identify the subject, rates the risk (safe, caution, dangerous, or deadly), and gives you practical guidance on what to avoid and what to do if you already touched, ate, or were bitten by it.

Why it exists

To blend genuine "should I panic?" advice with a playful wink. Real danger signals, weird history, satirical quotes, and a little symbolic or philosophical flavor — all in one scan.

How to read a report

Every report includes a verdict, a summary, risks, how to navigate the encounter, first-aid guidance, and a fun fact. Depending on your tone choice, you may also get satirical roasts, fake-but-funny historical quotes, or symbolic meaning.

Tone modes

Serious gives just-the-facts survival guidance. Satire adds satirical roasts and dark humor. Both blends the two. Switch anytime before you analyze, or re-run the same photo in a different tone.

Safety mode

Toggle Safety Mode for extra precautions, confidence levels, and high-visibility do-not warnings. It's a useful way to be extra cautious, but it is still not a substitute for professional advice.

What you can learn

Real danger signals, what to avoid, emergency actions, and even symbolic or cultural meaning if you're into that.

What you can laugh about

A satirical roast of your subject, fake-but-funny historical quotes, and the kind of weird fact you'll bring up at dinner.

Not medical advice

This app is for entertainment and general information only. Never rely on it for medical decisions, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or someone else may be poisoned, bitten, or otherwise harmed, call your local emergency number or seek professional help immediately.

Who to call in United States
poisonhelp.org web triage

Ready to scan?

Jump back to the scanner and clarify whatever just crawled into your life.

📸 Capture & Clarify
Sample Field Reports

What a scan looks like

A few example encounters, complete with verdict, fun facts, and a touch of symbolic meaning.

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Plant

Poison Ivy

CAUTION

Leaves of three, let it be

Urushiol oil on the leaves, stems, and roots causes an itchy, blistering rash in most people. It won't kill you, but it will ruin your week.

From the archives

Some people brag that they're immune. Most of them are just temporarily lucky — sensitivity can develop suddenly after years of casual contact.

Symbolic meaning

A warning dressed in green: not everything attractive wants to be touched.

BoundariesCautionRespect

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished — including the rash."

Not Lao Tzu

🦋
Animal

Monarch Butterfly

SAFE

Harmless, just dramatic

Monarchs are perfectly safe to observe and photograph. They store toxins from milkweed, which makes them taste terrible to predators, but they pose no risk to humans.

From the archives

A monarch's migration can span four generations. The butterfly that arrives in Mexico is often the great-great-grandchild of the one that left.

Symbolic meaning

Transformation, endurance, and the idea that a fragile-looking creature can still be untouchable.

ChangeResilienceSpirit

"Float like a butterfly, identify like a field guide."

Loosely Muhammad Ali

🥜
Food

Cashew

SAFE

Mostly friendly, technically complicated

Roasted cashews are a safe snack. Raw cashew shells, however, contain a toxin similar to poison ivy. The roasting process neutralizes the danger.

From the archives

Cashews aren't true nuts — they're seeds that grow outside a fleshy fruit called a cashew apple. The shell is the part that holds the grudge.

Symbolic meaning

Prosperity and patience: the good part is hidden under a layer you really should not crack open yourself.

AbundanceProtectionReward

"The only way to deal with a cashew is to roast it. The same is true of most Mondays."

Definitely not Churchill

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Animal

Black Widow Spider

DANGEROUS

Small, shiny, and medically significant

Bites are rare but can cause severe pain, muscle cramps, and nausea. They are dangerous enough to warrant medical attention, especially for children or older adults.

From the archives

The female's red hourglass is basically nature's warning label. It says 'I am not in the mood.'

Symbolic meaning

The shadow side of creativity and feminine power — often misunderstood, always respected from a distance.

DangerFemininityMystery

"With great power comes a great responsibility to not stick your hand in dark corners."

Not Peter Parker's uncle

🫐
Plant

Pokeberry

DEADLY

Pretty berries, bad idea

The purple berries and red stems look tempting, but the plant contains toxins that can cause vomiting, low blood pressure, and, in large amounts, death.

From the archives

Poke sallet is a traditional Southern dish, but only if the leaves are boiled multiple times from young plants. Every old-timer knows someone who got it wrong.

Symbolic meaning

A reminder that what looks like a gift can be a test. Deep magic often comes with a warning.

TransformationWarningThreshold

"Berry in haste, repent in the emergency room."

Not Benjamin Franklin

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Object

Lit Candle

CAUTION

Fire with a zen aesthetic

A candle is not poisonous, but it is an open flame. It can start fires, burn skin, and ruin a perfectly good mood if left unattended near curtains or curious cats.

From the archives

Before electric light, some people literally paid a 'candle tax' based on how many candles they owned. Historians are not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Symbolic meaning

Light in the dark, memory, presence, and the thin line between comfort and chaos.

LightMemoryAttention

"It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. It is also better to blow it out before leaving."

Almost Eleanor Roosevelt

Ready when you are

These are samples — run a real photo through the scanner for your own report.